For all of you out there in
America and across the globe who have fought so hard to tackle the hideous enemy
of our planet, namely carbon emissions, that bogus god you worship named
"Climate Change" or "Global Warming," there is some really bad news that will be
very painful for you to process, but it is my duty to pass it on to you anyway.
Okay, here's the bombshell.
The current volcanic eruption going on in Iceland, since it first started
spewing volcanic ash a few weeks ago has, to this point, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE
EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our
I know, I know...
(have a group hug)... It's very disheartening to realize that all of the
carbon emission savings you have accomplished while suffering the inconvenience
and expense of driving Prius hybrids, buying fabric grocery bags, sitting up
'til midnight to finish your kid's "The Green Revolution" science project,
throwing out all of your non-green cleaning supplies, using only two squares of
toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet tank reservoir, selling your SUV
and speedboat, going on vacation to a city park instead of Yosemite, nearly
getting hit every day on your bicycle, and replacing all of your $1 light bulbs
with $10 light bulbs ... Well, all of those things you have done have all gone
down the tubes in just the past few weeks!
The volcanic ash emitted
into the Earth's atmosphere since the eruptions have begun have totally
erased every single effort you made to reduce the evil beast, carbon.
And, those hundreds of
thousands of American jobs you helped move to Asia with expensive emissions
demands on our nations' businesses... You know, the ones that are creating
even more emissions than when they were creating American jobs... Well
that must seem really worthwhile now.
I'm so sorry. And I
do wish that there was some kind of a silver lining to this volcanic ash cloud
but the fact of the matter is that the brush fire season across the western
U.S.A. will start in about two months and those fires will negate your efforts
to reduce carbon emissions in our world for the next two years.
So... Grab a Coke,
give the world a big hug and tell Al Gore to 'Go to